Beauty Pageant Girl

I always wonder how much to tell my children concerning my breast cancer or how they will interpret what I tell them. We have been very straight forward with the kids and I think it has gone well-except when Italia thought I would give her chemo by kissing her. I did not tell them exactly what would happen during surgery-only that they would remove the cancer from my body.
Well, Italia went to her brother's soccer game on Saturday and hung out with her two friends from her soccer team. They had a great time and they all came home happy. Last night all the boys were at practice and Italia shared with me that Montana-her soccer friend told her they would have to cut off my boobies in surgery. She said this as if Montana was saying something completely ridiculous. When I explained to Italia that is what they did do she was a little shocked. I explained that they gave mommy some fake ones so my body still looks real. That is when she got really excited and said I was just like the girls from the beauty pageant or Toddlers & Tiaras, except my fake boobies were under the skin. Reality TV does have its benefits.

What a Girl Wants

I cannot get Christina Aguilera's song out of my head. I guess I just keep hoping I will get what I want-now. Life has been a series of ups and downs since I last blogged. I went to my last chemo and had a horrible reaction. I blew up like a tomato and they had to stop the chemo. I guess you could say I counted my chickens before they hatched. I strolled into chemo with Jamie thinking this is it. I had visions of sushi, hot yoga, and spin class running through my head. I was a little full of myself thinking I got this one on the bag. Well I guess I left the bag at home because it didn't work out that way.
Then I got the news that two more rounds of chemo were waiting for me. I was a little sad, but chemo was the devil I knew. I knew how I would feel, what I would look like, and how to appreciate the down time. What do you know? My wonderful surgeons Dr.Suh and Dr. Mattson-Gates could move my surgery up by three weeks so I wouldn't have to have more chemo. Wasn't that so nice of them? I didn't think so at the time, I didn't want to be sliced and diced or chopped up. I liked chemo because I still looked like me amd there wasn't any lopping off of any body parts. Jamie asked that I not use the term "lopping off"-it grossed her out, but after 25 years of friendship I like to gross her out.
In the interim I went to the City of Hope and met with another oncologist for the 2nd opinion. In his opinion Kaiser was providing me with the exact same treatment he would and it all looked great.
On to surgery...

One More to Go & The New Normal

Only one more chemo treatment to go! I survived the second to last chemo treatment, but not without a little bit of drama. My veins have decided to roll over and play dead so it took three different IV's to get the chemo going. My fabulous nurse(Ann who got me on the first try last time) could not get two of the veins to stay put. She had to call in Elmer-who I like to call the vein whisperer-although they don't laugh when I say that, to magically get the IV in. So I was sitting there when all of a sudden I felt as though my face was on fire. I thought to myself is this a hot flash? Am I already getting those? Then I started to itch. First it was the ears, then my throat, then the chest, and then all over. My face and chest turned red like a tomato. Finally the breathing got to be a bit tricky and my chest kept getting tighter and tighter. Luckily Christian was there and he got the nurse. In the back of my mind I was thinking if Sally or my mom were there it would have been the scene from Terms of Endearment when Shirley Mclaine was screaming that her daughter needed her medicine. I don't know if I would have laughed or cried at that point. So the nurse stopped my IV and gave me a big push of Benadryl. That made me so loopy I was content to stay all night. Alas, it meant the chemo was going to take much longer than anticipated. My mom came to get me so Christian could go coach soccer. As we were sitting there the lights started going out, the janitor was emptying the trash cans, and all the doors were being locked. That song "Closing Time" came to mind, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." You know the nurses were bummed that I had the reaction and someone had to stay late to watch over me-it was Jenny and she was really kind.
So I have many new "normals" in my life, some good, some bad, some just weird...
I used to work...now I watch cooking shows and make new recipes everyday.
I used to run...now I am a walker, sometimes with a friend or my dog.
I used to take 20 minute showers...now I am down to 3 minutes.
I used to think Facebook was a waste of time...now it is a great way to connect with my family and friends
I used to not have time for anything...now I have time to play Memory with Italia, Yahtzee with the kids, and go to all Chase's games at 3:15 in the afternoon
Cancer isn't so bad when I think about some of my great new normals.

ChChChChia

The good news is my hair has started to grow back. Of course it is not growing back exactly as I had hoped. It appears to be growing on my face-yuck and like a gray Chia pet on my head. The upside is it is soft and downy, but the downside side is it is the color of steel wool. My lovely husband referred to me as Gandalf the Grey. My mother-in-law was much more kind. She said that my hair was platinum like Marilyn Monroe. I would be happy anywhere in the middle of those two analogies. As soon as possible I am going to have Darryl color these little hairs into submission. The hair on my face just needs to go away.
A week and a half ago we did the Race for the Cure. Thank you again to all those who participated. It was amazing. I felt so blessed and I know my family did too. Next year I hope to be running it with many of you-and by then I should feel the breeze through my hair, not skimming off of my scalp.
I finished my sixth round of chemo on September 27th and I am happy to report that there are only two more sessions to go. Things are starting to move quickly again-time to ask questions and make some choices. I go see the surgeon on October 11th, the oncologist on October 14th, and then back to chemo on October 18th. It will be time to discuss surgery, reconstruction, follow-up treatment, and everything in between.

People Are So Kind

Last night my brother and sister-in-law, Darryl & Beth, went down to the Komen suite to pick up the some of our team packets. That was really nice. It was extra nice because they have 4 kids, homework, dance practice, and dinner-plus they both work full time. The Komen people helped them research last minute additions to the team and put together more bags for our team. That was nice too. Today I stopped by the school to drop off the race bags and it was picture day. They put me in the class picture-jeans, scarf, sunglasses and all. Nice right? Well after school I went to the car wash. Yes I am still supposed to stay away from people, and I was really tired later so I paid for my activities, but...Francisco at the car wash asked how my treatment was going. I have never talked to him before today. I get my car washed maybe 3 times a year. He said to me that I am always smiling and he wanted to know if I felt ok and how my chemotherapy had been going. So nice. Then...a dear family friend, Joann, flew in today from back East just to join our race team. My other two sister-in-laws, Sally Kim and Christiev, are flying in for the race this weekend too.
Just remember when you go about your day that people are truly kind and to count your blessings. They are everywhere-if you just look.

132 Angels and Counting

Our team is amazing! As of today we have 132 people signed up for the Susan G. Komen Race on Sunday, September 25th in Newport Beach. The race is expected to draw 30,000 people and I am so excited to be a part of it. My dining room looks like Pepto exploded all over it with all the pink shirts, hats, and bags everywhere.
My house arrest has been modified and I am hoping to be released fully for Sunday. My numbers have not come up all the way, but they are starting to bounce back. I have to have another blood test on Thursday to see where the numbers are at. I look like a pin cushion with all the holes in my arms. I keep trying to lift weights to get my veins to pop out. Last time the girl who took my blood greeted me with, "Hi, I am an extern, do you mind if I draw on you?" Well OK, I don't mind. I should have minded. She put the needle in my arm and nothing came out. Then she panicked and moved it around trying to find some blood flow. Needless to say the supervisor had to come and help her. Everyone has to learn and everyone has a first day, but blood draw should really be exempt from that practice.
Mr. Bob Frazier said I should get some Tiger Blood since it helped Charlie Sheen. I do have something better; they are going to give me 8 days of steroids after my next cycle. The steroids are really magical and I feel like Wonder Woman when I take them. Too bad it's not long term. I was thinking I could give them to Chase too so he could fly through homework and practice, but the pharmacist said it wouldn't really work.

House Arrest

I guess you can lump me in with Charlie Sheen, Lyndsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton, well not really. The doctor put me on house arrest for at least 5 days because my CBC's went down to a whopping 0.0. Congratulations you do not have any immune system left. I had my fifth round of chemo last week and it is my new drug Taxotere. Luckily I have not had any nausea and vomiting, but the body aches and tingly fingers are pretty funky.
I would have blogged sooner, but I was a little disoriented and my brother-in-law Josh said I was talking like Dr. Seuss. Just thinking about it makes my head go Would you, could you, in a box? Would you, could you with a fox?
So I cannot leave my house and if I do I am supposed to wear a mask. Beth said we could bedazzle one, which could really be a new trend during flu season this year. Darryl always has some pretty good ideas, but Beth is knocking them out of the park with this cancer stuff. She also thinks I could wear those false eyelashes that have bling at the tips. We could start a whole new business-Couture Cancer Wear. Speaking of accessories, Christiev bought me some new head scarves, a swim cap, and eyebrows. Yep, she bought me some beautifully shaped, perfect color, human hair eyebrows. Remember when I thought I would look like Andy Rooney? It's true. They are really funky and I cannot help but wonder who they belonged to.
Only three more treatments to go and then I will be done with this chemo stuff.
Now that I am stuck at home you might hear from me more.
Did I mention that they gave me an antibiotic which has a warning about ankle pain? I cannot eat any minerals two hours before or after taking the antibiotic and if I have ankle pain I am supposed to go to the hospital. What is a mineral? They told my husband it meant milk, yogurt, cheese. I thought that was dairy.
Until next time.