People Are So Kind

Last night my brother and sister-in-law, Darryl & Beth, went down to the Komen suite to pick up the some of our team packets. That was really nice. It was extra nice because they have 4 kids, homework, dance practice, and dinner-plus they both work full time. The Komen people helped them research last minute additions to the team and put together more bags for our team. That was nice too. Today I stopped by the school to drop off the race bags and it was picture day. They put me in the class picture-jeans, scarf, sunglasses and all. Nice right? Well after school I went to the car wash. Yes I am still supposed to stay away from people, and I was really tired later so I paid for my activities, but...Francisco at the car wash asked how my treatment was going. I have never talked to him before today. I get my car washed maybe 3 times a year. He said to me that I am always smiling and he wanted to know if I felt ok and how my chemotherapy had been going. So nice. Then...a dear family friend, Joann, flew in today from back East just to join our race team. My other two sister-in-laws, Sally Kim and Christiev, are flying in for the race this weekend too.
Just remember when you go about your day that people are truly kind and to count your blessings. They are everywhere-if you just look.

132 Angels and Counting

Our team is amazing! As of today we have 132 people signed up for the Susan G. Komen Race on Sunday, September 25th in Newport Beach. The race is expected to draw 30,000 people and I am so excited to be a part of it. My dining room looks like Pepto exploded all over it with all the pink shirts, hats, and bags everywhere.
My house arrest has been modified and I am hoping to be released fully for Sunday. My numbers have not come up all the way, but they are starting to bounce back. I have to have another blood test on Thursday to see where the numbers are at. I look like a pin cushion with all the holes in my arms. I keep trying to lift weights to get my veins to pop out. Last time the girl who took my blood greeted me with, "Hi, I am an extern, do you mind if I draw on you?" Well OK, I don't mind. I should have minded. She put the needle in my arm and nothing came out. Then she panicked and moved it around trying to find some blood flow. Needless to say the supervisor had to come and help her. Everyone has to learn and everyone has a first day, but blood draw should really be exempt from that practice.
Mr. Bob Frazier said I should get some Tiger Blood since it helped Charlie Sheen. I do have something better; they are going to give me 8 days of steroids after my next cycle. The steroids are really magical and I feel like Wonder Woman when I take them. Too bad it's not long term. I was thinking I could give them to Chase too so he could fly through homework and practice, but the pharmacist said it wouldn't really work.

House Arrest

I guess you can lump me in with Charlie Sheen, Lyndsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton, well not really. The doctor put me on house arrest for at least 5 days because my CBC's went down to a whopping 0.0. Congratulations you do not have any immune system left. I had my fifth round of chemo last week and it is my new drug Taxotere. Luckily I have not had any nausea and vomiting, but the body aches and tingly fingers are pretty funky.
I would have blogged sooner, but I was a little disoriented and my brother-in-law Josh said I was talking like Dr. Seuss. Just thinking about it makes my head go Would you, could you, in a box? Would you, could you with a fox?
So I cannot leave my house and if I do I am supposed to wear a mask. Beth said we could bedazzle one, which could really be a new trend during flu season this year. Darryl always has some pretty good ideas, but Beth is knocking them out of the park with this cancer stuff. She also thinks I could wear those false eyelashes that have bling at the tips. We could start a whole new business-Couture Cancer Wear. Speaking of accessories, Christiev bought me some new head scarves, a swim cap, and eyebrows. Yep, she bought me some beautifully shaped, perfect color, human hair eyebrows. Remember when I thought I would look like Andy Rooney? It's true. They are really funky and I cannot help but wonder who they belonged to.
Only three more treatments to go and then I will be done with this chemo stuff.
Now that I am stuck at home you might hear from me more.
Did I mention that they gave me an antibiotic which has a warning about ankle pain? I cannot eat any minerals two hours before or after taking the antibiotic and if I have ankle pain I am supposed to go to the hospital. What is a mineral? They told my husband it meant milk, yogurt, cheese. I thought that was dairy.
Until next time.

Mommy...

Italia has had a sinus infection for the last couple of weeks so I have only given her a kiss on the cheek lately. The other day I gave her a kiss on the mouth and she said..."Mommy, Your going to give me the chemo!" I had to explain that chemo is medicine Mommy gets, not a sickness she can get. It was cute and made me laugh.
Tomorrow I have my last "red devil" chemotherapy treatment and then I am on to the new stuff. I am really looking forward to getting this monkey off of my back and feeling like myself again.
Yesterday Christian and I watched the Ford Ironman Championship in Kona and that was inspiring. Two competitors had battled cancer and come back to compete. This could be a great goal for me if I could just get over the swimming in the ocean thing.

Insanity

First it was a cheesy version of an elliptical, then it was Billy Blank's Tae Bo, and lastly the P90X. I thought I was through with infomercial workout gadgets and gizmos. Who needs them? I love to run, bootcamp is the best workout I have ever done, and training for a triathlon keeps the boredom at bay(although after watching Shark Week I might rethink all ocean swimming). Needless to say I have fallen victim to another one of the infamous infomercial promises of improved health, six-pack abs, and a lean physique.
I bought the Insanity DVD system on Amazon last week. I could blame it on the chemotherapy and how rotten I felt. I thought to myself that this DVD would make me feel better for sure. The people on the commercial were fit, energetic, smiling-not a cancer patient in sight. The first workout was really a challenge-it was opening the front door to sign for the package. The second workout left me feeling weak and clumsy-that was just getting the box opened and reading the list of workouts. Who was I kidding? The most strenuous activity I have done in the last two weeks was to walk to Nana's house accompanied by Elijah and Italia. The 1.6 mile walk took us 25 minutes. I think we were definitely trying to keep up with the snails on the street.
Apparently I have not fooled my husband. He asked if I could send it back the minute he saw the box. Stubbornly I refused to send it back. I thought to myself, I need this workout. This will make me feel like the Lance Armstrong of cancer survival. Lance Armstrong? Really? I know, I now, but it could happen. Just the other day my brother-in-law Josh wanted to know when I would get my super powers. He said that Spiderman got them right away when he was bit by the spider. I told Josh that my superpowers would come when my hair grows back.
I realize now that I do have superpowers that other people are sadly lacking. First of all I have an amazing husband. Who else would watch three hours of VH1's greatest rock songs hosted by Bret Michael's after a chemo treatment? I stayed awake for numbers 100-95, but I missed the final five. My fabulous husband informed that Guns N Roses was number one in case you missed it. Second superpower is a family that just rocks. My sister-in-law Beth calls to check up on me and just be my anchor. Then of course there is always the fun when Darryl leaves his phone out and Christian hacks his FB which sends a slew of posts that make me cry with laughter. My mom and dad who have always been supportive and giving have achieved hero status. Mom braved Magic Mountain with Chase and his friend for 12 hours. Grandpa won every animal at the fair for Italia(small fortune spent-priceless pictures). Nana and Papa have been solid and I think Nana prayed in every church in Europe for me-she even used Holy water. Sally Kim-well she is just the whole kit and caboodle. She creates really fabulous food that will for sure put the weight back on me. She prays for me, sends me scripture, and is helping me get a second opinion from the best cancer fighting doctors in the world. What more could I ever ask for? My last super power is my friends. Without them I would wallow and that is not good for cancer.
When I was drafting this in my head today it began a little morosely. I was feeling down this last week. Sometimes I think this is bad. I have cancer. I saw the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love yesterday. In one scene the people at Steve Carell's office are worried because they think he has cancer. When they realize he's just getting a divorce there is a huge sigh of relief. "Don't worry, it's not cancer, just a divorce. It's not cancer" his boss yells. I wish I could yell, "It's not cancer!"Soon I will be able to yell, "I am cancer free." That will be my ultimate superpower. I will kick this cancer in the booty!

Its Been A While...

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my friend Heather. Heather looked at me and said, "It's not often we get a second chance to stop and appreciate our life and what is truly important." She was right. Cancer can be a blessing and never more so than when you have a family and friends like I do. I have spent the last couple of weeks with my amazing family. My husband's family is truly a blessing and they are too much fun. I love watching Nana after the boys have told her a funny story and the way she laughs and giggles like a little girl. While my husband's family was here we had a mini California vacation. We went to the beach, the fair, and some brave souls went to Disneyland. Most of all we just hung out in Nana's kitchen and cooked with Aunt Sally. After the fun I had to resume chemo yesterday and that was different than it has been in the past. I had to go in an hour earlier for blood work because my white blood cells were too low on Monday to let me have chemo. Up until this point I have had the most amazing nurses. They have been efficient, gracious, and humorous-Betina, Jenny, and Nancy. I had a new nurse yesterday-callig her Nurse Ratchet would be cruel-bless her heart, but mildly appropriate. Oh my goodness, she was a train wreck. She left trash everywhere, ran around like a chicken with her head cut off, and asked me to hold most of her supplies. Don't get me wrong, she was kind, but a mess. Normally I go in at 9am and I finish by 12:30pm. This time I went in at 8:30am and did not leave until 2:00pm. My nurse had been on vacation for two weeks and had a little trouble starting my IV. I have really good veins and she liked to move the IV all over trying to get it at the right angle. She made it a pillow out of gauze, hoping it would flow better. She would forget that she was holding it and turn to do something-taking my vein with her. Ouch! Then she proceeded to tell me stories and whenever she became animated she would move the IV to emphasize her point. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch. She also kept telling me about all the other departments she has worked and I kept thinking you really need to find yor right fit. Maybe front office where you are just in one place? I tried to feign sleep so that she couldn't tell me stories and move the needle anymore. Needless to say it backed up and started swelling and itching so much they had to remove it and start a new one. Fortunately Kae came to my rescue and popped a new one in and I was on my way. During my 5.5 hour stay the man sitting next to me couldn't speak English. Nurse Ratchet kept talking to him in English slowly and loudly thinking that would work, but the poor man kept saying, "No English." I almost took pity on both of them and translated for him, but it kept her away for me so I let him suffer.
One of the chemo meds they give me is red and looks like Kool Aid to me. Well here are another few names the patients have given it-Red Devil, Red Bomber, Red October. I only have one more Red treatment and then I move on to the less nauseating Taxotere.
Thank goodness

Chemo Knocked Me Down

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down" by Chumbawamba is the theme for this week. I had chemo on Tuesday and I am just starting to feel human again. I guess I really need to appreciate the good days where the focus of my day does not center around what pill did I take and when can I have another one? The nausea is the worst. I take three anti-nausea pills three times a day after chemo. Can you imagine what is was like before they had all these great medications? The other little known benefit of the medications is how it changes your bodily functions. Needless to say things move at a snails pace internally. Week one down and two good weeks looking ahead. My sister-in-law arrives tomorrow and I am so excited. We are going to make key lime pie, tortilla soup, and guacamole. She is one of the best cooks around so I am looking forward to putting back on the five pounds I lost in the last three weeks. Did you know that I can only eat vegetables that are grilled or peeled? I never thought I would be so desperate to eat a fresh, crunchy arugula and tomato salad.