I had a mammogram on Saturday and then they scheduled me to come back for a core needle biopsy on Tuesday, May 24th. I went back to the breast center at Kaiser in Irvine to have the procedure done. My husband took the day off and drove me there. My mom came too.The ultra sound tech thanked me for returning so soon to the appointment and I responded with why wouldn't I? Well she was very kind and led me back to previous "spa" room. At least they try to make you feel as comfortable as possible but inside your really nervous. I am not afraid of needles or doctors, dentists yes, but not doctors. I lay down on the table and they began by numbing the area. While keeping her eyes on the ultra sound image she took three pieces of flesh to be biopsied. Before I went to the appointment I looked up images of other biopsies I had seen trying to see if my black hole looked like the others. I had new vocabulary swimming all through my head. Was it benign? malignant? had it spread to other areas? What stage did it look like? Wasn't it just a false positive? After the procedure the doctor took my hand and told me that in her opinion I did have cancer, I should have a mastectomy, and chemotherapy. She said I was not going to die, but that I would be really sick for a long time. Ironically I am in the best shape of my life, I eat well, I love my job, and I have the best family and friends a girl could ever want. Cancer was something that happens to other people-those people who don't take care of themselves or have a family history, not 38 year old teachers just beginning their life. I left her office holding it together again until I walked out to my mom and husband in the waiting room. The were both sitting waiting for me to tell them the news, but who wants to spill their guts in front of a waiting room full of people fascinated by my plight? I dragged them outside and only broke when I mentioned the mastectomy and chemo, not because I am so worried about keeping my body parts-take them- but because it made it real when I said the words aloud. I still didn't have the biopsy results so some small part of me thought they could just be mistaken. We decided to go see a movie after that. We went to Togos and I got a small sandwich, still watching my calories. Then we went to see Bridesmaids. It was hilarious and the best medicine is a fabulous husband and laughter. I spent the next few days working and feeling like a zombie in the midst of a nightmare of the unknown.
I had a mammogram on Saturday and then they scheduled me to come back for a core needle biopsy on Tuesday, May 24th. I went back to the breast center at Kaiser in Irvine to have the procedure done. My husband took the day off and drove me there. My mom came too.The ultra sound tech thanked me for returning so soon to the appointment and I responded with why wouldn't I? Well she was very kind and led me back to previous "spa" room. At least they try to make you feel as comfortable as possible but inside your really nervous. I am not afraid of needles or doctors, dentists yes, but not doctors. I lay down on the table and they began by numbing the area. While keeping her eyes on the ultra sound image she took three pieces of flesh to be biopsied. Before I went to the appointment I looked up images of other biopsies I had seen trying to see if my black hole looked like the others. I had new vocabulary swimming all through my head. Was it benign? malignant? had it spread to other areas? What stage did it look like? Wasn't it just a false positive? After the procedure the doctor took my hand and told me that in her opinion I did have cancer, I should have a mastectomy, and chemotherapy. She said I was not going to die, but that I would be really sick for a long time. Ironically I am in the best shape of my life, I eat well, I love my job, and I have the best family and friends a girl could ever want. Cancer was something that happens to other people-those people who don't take care of themselves or have a family history, not 38 year old teachers just beginning their life. I left her office holding it together again until I walked out to my mom and husband in the waiting room. The were both sitting waiting for me to tell them the news, but who wants to spill their guts in front of a waiting room full of people fascinated by my plight? I dragged them outside and only broke when I mentioned the mastectomy and chemo, not because I am so worried about keeping my body parts-take them- but because it made it real when I said the words aloud. I still didn't have the biopsy results so some small part of me thought they could just be mistaken. We decided to go see a movie after that. We went to Togos and I got a small sandwich, still watching my calories. Then we went to see Bridesmaids. It was hilarious and the best medicine is a fabulous husband and laughter. I spent the next few days working and feeling like a zombie in the midst of a nightmare of the unknown.
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