Well, it has been a very interesting last couple of days. I have been poked and prodded by so many kind people who give me a massive amount of information and watch me nod and say ok! Last week I went to meet with a genetic counselor. She was a very kind woman but I could not stop thinking about her beard. Yes, I said it, she had a beard. I know, these are some of the most important decisions I will ever make and I kept thinking at least I don't have a beard. It was definitely a once in a lifetime experience with the genetic counselor. I took my mom so she could help me answer some questions and it turned into an episode from Jerry Springer. No matter how normal you think you are-you still have a family with skeletons and unresolved issues that have to be dealt with. It is much easier to live in our tiny little boxes where no one questions our decisions and we think we are perfect.
Once genetic testing was over I went on to the MUGA. For those of you who are uninformed like myself-it is a heart scan to see if you can withstand chemotherapy. It was pretty basic, it required two IV's, and a very nice little man who had warm blankets and a big machine to take pictures of my heart. This is a very basic definition and as an English teacher it should be filled with imagery and literary devices, but it was really like taking a nice nap with needles jabbed in my arm.
Last but not least(really, not least) I had to attend a chemotherapy orientation. My husband, my rock, went with me. We checked in and were looking for a classroom where I would shine, because I love school. I would have a binder, highlighter, different color pens, and a list of intense, but appropriate questions.
It ended up being a one-on-one consultation with a wise nurse who put on an hour video for us to watch.
As we watched there were different topics, "What is Chemotherapy?", "Care for the Patient", and out personal favorite..."Diet for Diarrhea." Well, we are so infantile that we exploded into gut busting laughter(in the middle of the chemo ward) and tried to listen to how to care for a diarrhea. Really, we instantly revert back to first grade when someone mentions bowel movements. Apparently there are a variety of ways to help alleviate diarrhea(have to look it up every time I type it)but it really comes back to the basics-BRAT diet.
Are you thinking of the Parenthood song?
"When your slidin' into first and your feelin' somethin' burst-diarrhea, diarrhea." "When you slidin' into home and your shorts are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea"
I hope I don't have to experience all of the lovely side effects; but it will be an adventure along the way.
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